Single Moms in Thailand
I've been in Khon Kaen a few days now and met a number of people but this story is really about single moms in Thailand not just the one I met. If you use the dating sites you'll notice a very strange fact. 80% of single moms on the dating sites have a son, weird I know, it seems if you're a Single Thai Mom you are more likely to be single if you have a son than if you have a daughter and I honestly can't understand why, maybe you guys have a theory I'm out of ideas.So I meet this girl and she comes with her sexy Isaan friend who as it turns out has a German boyfriend, they've been together for about 2 years now and see each other maybe twice a year. I inquire as to why he's not here with her and she tells me he doesn't have enough money to start a business to live in Thailand, pretty common but I'm surprised that they are still together. Her disappointment that I didn't have a friend come with me tells me she loves her boyfriend but isn't opposed to fooling around on the side, not at all uncommon as you guys know.
This girl they I met up with has never been with a Farang before but tells me she wants to have a Farang boyfriend because her friend has a Farang boyfriend that takes good care of her and so she wants the same. Again not at all uncommon. I ask her what she does for work and she tells me she's looking for work at the moment, again not uncommon for a single Thai mom looking for a Farang boyfriend.
So we have dinner and I'm feeling tired so I ask them to drive me home which they do. We get to the hotel and she tells me she wants to come up to see my room...lol....like i've never heard that one before. I say "you wanna stay the night" of course she says "YES".
I'm always curious about how moms become single in Thailand and their relationship with their former partner as well as their kids so once she's back in my room I ask her more about how she became single and what about her son. She tells me the guy left and found someone else 2 months after she become pregnant. So I ask her if she's in my bed where is her son, she tells me he lives with her own mother in Nakhon Pathom.
This again is extremely common in Thailand, Thai girls no matter how old they are (this chick is 27 with a 2 year old son) leave their kids with their parents to look after while they live in another province. I can never understand the rational behind this especially seeing she doesn't even have a job why isn't she with her son?
She tells me she'd loved to move to Chiang Mai and be with me (red flashing lights in my head now).....mmmm......."What about my son" she asks me!? "Well what about him, would you like him to come with?" She then tells me "No, he can stay with my mom but we just send money to her mom every month".
Again this is common amongst Thai Single Moms. It's like she didn't even want the kid but realizes her responsibility to provide for him. What about her own mother, I mean there is no way I could live with myself palming off that kind of responsibility to my parents, in fact my parents would simply laugh at the idea and tell me to grow up.
So how can a single Thai mom leave her own son and not be part of his life only to chase a Farang to take care of her. Talking to this girl more I realize her laziness and she doesn't have any aspirations or really want to do anything with her life let along care about her own son. I realize she didn't want to have a baby in the first place but she did and she should live with it.
I know I'm not exactly a role model and I'm not in her situation but I do know Ghetto chicks in LA that wouldn't dream of leaving their kids to follow some stranger to the other other side of the country so what is it about Thai women even educated girls willing to dump their kids and move off with some guy they really don't know?
Boom Boom
Welcome to Thailand 🙂
is it because the kid will make her look old? i too have a hard time understanding this child thing but it seems that 80 % or more thai girls do this.
Maybe it´s something about that girls take care of their old parents who influence that single mom with boys are more common.
Given in Thai culture it’s the responsibility of the daughters to take care of the parents (contrary to China or India) it’s not uncommon to have single Thai girls going away to find some job so provide for their family.
Then if she has kids someone has to take care of them and the parents are perfect for that. Does she miss her kid, certainly, but given her age (22-25 is not uncommon and I have seen worse) and the way the family is structured here, it might be easier for her to let go.
And finally, marrying a farang seems, sometimes, to be a job like any other, just more lucrative.
About your assertion that “80% of single moms on the dating sites have a son” I think it goes with the 65% of all statistics that are made on the spot 😉
Very common ALL over the world. I’ve seen this story played out all over latin America.
After writing the article I started to think about it more how mothers in our countries get benefits for having kids, these countries don’t. If we stopped giving benefits to single moms in our countries would it be more likely that this kind of thing would start to trend there?
Absolutely. Before welfare people only married stable people. 18 year olds married 30 year olds, etc. This is common is areas of the world where they dont have welfare.
No benefits. Less children. IMO.
Less WT children atleast. The people who can afford to have kids without relying on the society to pay for their lower class lifestyle usually have less kids regardless of the state of the country.
In the case of Thais it’s not just leaving across one side of the county to another it’s an entirely different country as well.
I have two friends who have Thai partners with kids back in Thailand.
One has just got the kids ( 2 ) to follow mum now.
Massive hassle on top of that I’ve noticed how his partner is starting to become a bitch of a thing.
He has given her everything and helped the kids which aren’t his, instead of her getting better she is worse.
My way of thinking it would be time to cut your losses and move on ( unless she improves her attitude )
Life is to short for that crap especially when he is holding all the aces ( money )
Though re: boys vs. girls, as dark as it may sound but perhaps men who have a daughter are more apt to stick around because of the sheer earning potential of said daughter whether she be put to work (and send money home) or the dowry.
Dowry is the reason why they have infanticide in other countries where the girl’s family pays the suitor – quite possibly since the suitor pays the girl’s family in Thailand, there is a preference to get rich off the girl.
A few points (but only based on my observations and are generalist):
1/ Its just the ‘cultural’ thing and they will end up (as another posters states) looking after their parents so the kid is just part of the ‘package’
2/ Thais don’t seem to have that ’emotional attachment’ that farangland has
3/ less education = more babies
4/ they want their freedom (sorry but Thais are more selfish – it’s in their nature)
5/ there is no Law here that protects mothers and forces fathers to pay maintenance (direct from their salary for instance)
6/ economics – they have to work
Hey Chris. Great article. I’m sorry to say, but your points are again right on target.
In my very blunt opinion? This girl is a scumbag. She’s clearly shown no responsibility, no sense of self worth, and absolutely no caring towards those around her (most importantly her own family). She only wants what here friend has (a foreigner who will “take care” of her, and jump aboard the ‘Free Rider Train’ and get an easy life.
Most notibly, how low is it to drop off a newborn kid (who she apparently didn’t even want), with her parents? Can you imagine the image that must place on her parents in her village? You’re right though. In any other society (of which I understand Thailand is not mine), this would be appalling to do.
Why hasn’t she bothered to seek employment in her own town where her kid is?
It’s yet again another cascading case of ‘TT’ (Typical Thainess’. No morals, no responsibility, no caring, and no sense of doing the right thing. What a loser.
Just read this story & it made me feel “Hey!! this is not fare”
As I’m one of what you called “a single mom in Thailand”, I have a daughter sharing the roof with my parents but so what cause they’re old and also need someone to take care of… so who else should it be if not their own child..
Becaused of you just met someone being like that it can’t judge all will be the same.. I have a job & I work hard to make sure that my girl will have a happy life with highest education.. And I won’t leave my girl just to be with those (old) Farang guy who love to come and take advantage from poor young Thai lady…
Obviously i’m talking about single mums who are looking for farangs, but i honestly wonder who is taking advantage of whom
Chris and Jeff
I dont understand this type of woman myself. Totally irresponsible and unacceptable.. But what do you expect this type of woman ??I’m not surprise. Got herself pregnant with a douchebag or the type that her parents probably beg her to stay away from. now they have to deal with her problems and her financial problems ! She should go get a job or spend her time try to find one. Stay home and raise her child. Not drinking in a bar and looking for foreigner husband to help her financially.
” don’t hate the player hate the game” or ” don’t hate the game you CHOOSE to play ”
Personally I would avoid this type of woman unless she has a job, independent and emotionally stable..not just looking for someone to take care of her/child. But each case is different.
How not to get taken for a ride?? Answer is….
From a That Guy
Racha I like how you immediately claim that “It’s the foreigner’s fault and you’re the victim”.
What may not be understood is that it’s usually the girls taking advantage of the foreign guys…(You wouldn’t know this unless you’re foreign).
Physically Jeff that’s what I mean.. and I believe there are different kind of girls here in Thailand.. I’m pretty sure that you know very well where the girl like this could be found..
For those who have the same experience..
I might be wrong but firstly I want you to ask youself where did you met this kind of girl? why you were there?
Chris said “I can never understand the rational behind this especially seeing she doesn’t even have a job why isn’t she with her son?” So it was directed at girls who do this and don’t work.
I know a few girls like this, basically that are hookers or quasi-hookers, latching on to farangs in clubs. They often prefer to spend more money on partying, phones, makeup, clothes and cosmetic procedures rather than on their kids. They have lots of free time on their hands but don’t spend much of that on the kids either. They don’t care, they’re just trash.
Racha, exploitation is a 2 way street honey. Pull your head out your ass, wipe the shit from your eyes and see the forest for the trees.
-_-
I’ve met hundreds of ladies in similar situations. Here, TIT, it is understood and accepted. I’ve seen entire villages that assist and promote the financial dependence of the “lady,” (“Oh, handsome-man!) – then, when the money begins running low, “Hey, I don’t know you or give a fuck about you!”
The difference is, in the west, the “Family-Law Courts” play our a wicked game on the poor bastard under the guise of “Child-Support” and clean him out of everything he has and puts him in debt for the rest of his life!
Worth considering that abortion is illegal in Thailand, and also contravenes the Buddhist doctrine of refraining from taking life, so there must be many unwanted pregnancies and cases where the mother just wasn’t ready or too young – and there most Thais do not mature as quickly as westerners. Another point to consider is that Thais genuinely love children not exclusively their own so it is quite easy to have help outside of the parental role.
Background and education.
90 percent of them love your money