Farangs With Big Mouths
When your in a foreign country you have to have a little self constraint you need to take a few punches. It's never wise to get into an altercation with anyone least of all with those who serve and protect as well as people with lowly jobs like mechanics, Tuk Tuk drivers, and general laborers. It's a rule of thumb to keep your cool and solve things as amicably as possible.
For many poor Farangs they have either never heard me say that or they are the kind of guys with big mouths. You know the kind of guy get's all heated after a few drinks or gets supper pissed off when he feels he's getting jilted in a deal involving money. The guy that likes to yell really loud for the most stupid reasons. These are the kind of guys that end up in the emergency ward of a Thai hospital.
By now you've probably read the story by Andrew Drummond about the poor guy Paul Ayling who got whacked by a club coming back to his house. As horrific as it sounds I kind of feel as though there is more to the story, as much as I respect Andrew as a journalist he does like to find these most interesting cases and yet I'm always wondering about the other side to the story. And there is because they never found the guys that did it to him.
Watch the video about Paul Ayling in Hua Hin
What i'm really interested in hearing is words were exchanged between Paul Ayling and the contractor company. I mean guys don't come hunting you down for no reason, there is always a reason. Unlike the west where you can get struck down for just driving down the wrong street Thai people need more motivation and it's usually after they have had the Big Mouth spat at them.
Yes I feel sorry for Mr Paul Ayling but I can't help wonder if it's what he said to the Hua Hin company who he refused to pay is more of the reason than the money that he owed. I've only lived in Thailand coming on to 3 years now and I've seen Farang beet to a half inch of their life by Tuk Tuk drivers because they were mouthing off, I've seen guys cut on Loi Kroh because they called the wrong bar girl a whore and I even witnessed a guy being pummelled by a crowd of Kratoys right after saying a loud FU!
It's not just Farang that I've seen beaten either, Thais are always getting into fights. You come down to my local 7 eleven between 2am and 5am and you'll see a brawl every night black eyes fists flying and people getting cut, I live in mild Chiang Mai for Christs sake what about the rest of Thailand?
A year or so ago I had this Thai guy working for me, on the busiest day of the year he goes out to work for 4 hours then comes back and says he can't work anymore. I ask him why he says because he has to go away for a week and leaves tonight. I say that's a shame because pay day comes tomorrow but you won't be here. Oh OK I come tomorrow morning he says. hmmmm So next day he comes in I give his pay check and tell him he no longer works here it's not working out. Next day I wake up and he cuts the cables on my bikes which end up costing me 4000 baht to repair!
I got away with a few thousand baht but poor Paul Ayling it seems got far worse. I don't know what was said or how it was but I doubt very much it's some cover up as Andrew portrays. Fact is Thai people feel the wrath of a Thai scorned way more than Farang do and I doubt there is any racist motivation. If there was you'd find a lot more beatings of Burmese than you would Farang. It might not be reported the same way because Thai people are scared about their image which they are right to protect. Especially when some big mouth Farang get's himself hurt because he started bad mouthing the wrong guy.
If I got stiffed for 400 pounds I'd want to go smack the guy myself and it would take some sense for me not to go do that. It was only 400 pounds, what you couldn't figure something else out instead of not paying the guy. When you work with Thai's you need to dot every I and cross every T because if you don't tell them exactly what to do they'll think it up themselves and be hopelessly wrong. Thai contractors are not scientists they're just hard working guys who cut as many corners as they can to make more money, I don't see any difference between them and contractors back home. Maybe Paul was just too anal about things that it escalated to this.
It's just plain strange or naive when Andrew writes that Paul deferred his debt to his lawyer. I mean honestly we are talking about 20,000 baht, is that not an amount that can be worked through? I can understand feeling frustrated with the Thai contractors I've been there before but once you start receiving threatening emails it's something you need to just confront head on and make sure the situation is resolved immediately. This is not your country and laws are easily bent here.
The moral of this story is if you have a big mouth and can't control yourself and can't resolve things then don't come to Thailand because Thailand will eat you up and spit you out. Make sure any quarrels are resolved or the surprise revenge attack will sneak up on you and POW you're laying in a hospital bed in Hua Hin.
I'm sure Paul won't be the last victim of the now world famous "Thai Revenge", how about you? Ever had a Thai person seek revenge on you?
We will always be ‘second class’ citizens here and it will never change. It’s a bit ‘Wild West’ and if you can’t stand the heat get out of the kitchen. The law here is ‘flexible’ at best and will not offer you anywhere near the protection you are used to – I don’t like this aspect but have to live with it.
Arguing, particularly with a loud voice, challenges their ‘face’ and this is NUMBER ONE for them – so try not to do it. I have occasionally been stupid enough to raise my voice very slightly (a farang habit) and have had to correct myself as the whole atmosphere changes – so I force a smile and work it through.
This is about the article sent to me last night by an expat friend – he sent it to me after I had discussed with him the possibility of hiring a professional to make & install some bookshelves in a new condo that will be completed in September. The article was so disturbing I immediately forwarded the link to Chris the owner of this blog. He must have seen it at the same time as me, since the article is dated yesterday February 1, I think.
What puzzles me the most about it is that the man who was attacked is by profession a carpenter who specializes in kitchens. So why didn’t he do the work himself, since that’s his profession?
And another thing, by my reading of the article, it seems he waited until the job was finished to inspect the work. That seems very strange to me – if it was me I’d be looking in on the workers from time to time to make sure things were being done as they ought to be.
And what about the two other farangs mentioned in the last few paragraphs of the article?
One thing is sure: we as farangs had best hold our tongues and keep tempers in check even though that can be difficult to remember in the heat of the moment.
I think Chris said it best above: when dealing with laborers here, closely monitor them to be sure things are being done properly but(!) do it in the most polite & diplomatic way you can; i.e. interact with people here in such a way that they won’t lose face.
I find it hard to disagree with the writer. Its abundantly clear that Paul Ayling had local issues and even in my story.
The point is alerting people to what can happen – if they do. As for the cover up I’m pretty sure the police know who did it.
From previous experience in other cases their attitude might well be – well it deserved what he got. But that’s not what people want to hear.
I mention this today – because Ayling has now died.
As the others have mentioned, if you have a big mouth and tend to lose your cool quickly, Thailand is not the place to be!! Pack your bags and go home! An even deadly combination (Which i have seen a lot in my years being here!) Is a farang with a big mouth who spouts off when he’s drunk! More deadly combination!! Yes, it’s all about causing Thais to lose face. Us Westerners don’t even realize how much embarrassment/shame this can bring upon a Thai. Many years ago i got involved in a business venture with some Thais!! Money started to go missing, and then the police wanted their cut too! So, i cut my loses, sold up and walked away without any harm caused (But i was out of pocket!) But hey! I walked away with all my bodily functions intact, and no hard feeling between or even of the Thais. Don’t try to be a smart arse! And NEVER step on peoples toes! Do not threaten Thais, as they will always have the better hand, and a sympathetic ear from the local police. And never withhold money which is owed for work undertaken! Even Thais come unstuck by trying to do this. Life is cheap out here, yes. Don’t forget, this is not your country…full stop! You are always a guest here, keep your nose clean. And if you have a big mouth, don’t drink in public restaurants or bars! Stay home and drink there with your lady friend.
A few years back an Irish guy (Name withheld) who had a big mouth, which became even worse under the influence the local amber nectar! Was followed into restaurant by four Thais armed with bricks and hammers! He work up in the local hospital with all his front teeth smashed in, a badly fractured skull, and a very messed up face! He got off very lightly!
So enjoy your time in Thailand, Don’t be a smart arse and keep your nose clean! You will then love this easy going country, and live a long carefree life.
Remember, this in not Australia, America, Germany, UK, etc etc TIT= This is Thailand lol
Ben signing out!
Do excuse the spelling mistakes, my eyes are getting bad lol corrections: deadlier combination/no hard feelings between me or even any of the Thais/woke up.
I will recheck before posting next time lol!
Ben…getting old!
Ben Johnson – You are right on with your comments..That applies everywhere,but especially Thailand..Was stationed in Sattahip way back in the day,and in retrospect find Thais among the most humble, mellowest people I met,but they respect their customs and will not tolerate being disrespected:I remember a mob of 20-25 Thai guys chasing a couple GIs into and up the stairs of a bar one night,because one of the GIs wised off to a local woman:Fortunately the GIs got away..It’s funny how the Thai mob ran out of the bar without fukking with us patrons,because it wasn’t any of out business..I thought that was the one of the coolest confrontations I’ve ever seen..
People get in trouble for running their mouths,when they should keep their traps shut.
Don’t worry about spelling mistakes,becuse I was speed reading your comments:They flowed,because you speak from the heart.
Mr Ben Johnson: that is well-put! To the point and never mind the spelling which I doubt anyone would notice anyway – your advice will, if heeded, keep some farang alive which otherwise might end up in a pine box.
It,s wise to obey and respect the local customs, but I have been in a few situations where I stood my ground and this was respected, it is a matter of reading the situation sometimes, the more you bend over the more you will be ridden.
Nothing worse than a loud mouth on tour, it,s good to see these types getting justice, yanks in embassies fucking up visa extensions for everyone who comes next, deserve torture.
I have been in a few of situations with Thai’s and I did not just give in like a wimp.I stood my ground.But I also did not lose my cool and start yelling or insulting.Lossing face for a Thai is a very big thing.Talking calmly but also firmly with a few smiles thrown in has always worked for me.Yea you might have to bull shit a bit telling them they are not wrong,even though they sure as hell know they are.But as long as you can get your point across with out causing them to lose face most situations can be defused quickly and calmly.
As for Paul Ayling I wish him a quick and healthy recovery.There are always two sides to a coin and it would certainly be interesting to see the other side of this one before making any assumptions.
You like to comment on other peoples misery. Hoorah for you.
You are just like Mr Drummond.
Drummond is a very respected guy in Thailand, so thank you.
y’re welcome
Worth mentioning is that Thais are brought up with no free speech – there is no free speech here and so it is very disturbing to Thais for anyone to ‘voice’ opinions too strongly.
I’m not talking about drunken stupidity but any subject. It’s not in Thai culture and can lead to problems – not just in public but in personal relationships. We fought for freedom of speech in the west but it’s non-existent here and you have to be careful and accept it here.
I am sick of these monkeys. I get teased at the gym from time to time about my appearance and these fuckers don’t even know me. Yet, if I did that shit to them they would be pissed! It’s a fucking hypocrisy here. It makes me want to give a Thai a hard time if I bump in to one in the U.S.
I’ll tell him it’s not polite to drink with his right hand and to use his left only. And come up with other superstitious bullshit. Or maybe I’ll just kick his head in with five of my other friends.
I forgot to use it tonight; but the next time I am teased I will be pointing out their slant eyes and their flat noses- that’ll put them in their place.
Well well,why don’t you tell us how you really feel.lol
After living in Thailand for a year in Patong, I wouldnt recommend NOT trusting Thai Girls….Especially Bar Girls…& Thai Police Mafia
Thai Police always looking for Rain day money from Farang
Thai Girls, especially Bar Girls…are deceptive, normally have many Farang boyfriends & Thai Boyfriends…
Lie after lies Thai Bar Girls…
1. Boss not paying salary
2. Buffalo sick
3. Grandma needs surgery
4. Family car needs fixing
5. My mobile phone is broken
6. Can not pay rent
7. Family love you…I love you more
Lie after lie after lie…Known as the land of smiles…
More like the land of corruption & deception